The Angels

June 13, 2010

I screamed as the faceless creature came closer. I was trying to get away but, the hallway between me and the door was getting longer and the creature was getting closer. My heart pounded in my chest and my eyes blurred with tears of fear. I can’t get away from it, I thought.

I’ve had this dream every night since he left and I’ve never found a way out. By the thirtieth time I’ve had this dream, I gained a conscious look over it. I can see myself run and scream but I can’t call out to myself and tell me it will be over soon. I know it will be over because I always wake up screaming at the same exact part each time.

I trip over something that isn’t there and I fall onto my knees. I turn in time to see the creature coming out of the shadows into the light. However, I scream myself back to reality before I can see the creatures face.

I’m clammy and I feel sticky from sweat. As I sit up I begin to shiver but it’s not because I’m cold. That dream, that nightmare just scares me so much. It makes me feel alone, unprotected. I’ve been feeling like this ever since my dad left me and my unfathomable mother.

Ever since he left, she just stopped living. She’s depressed and she makes the house feel empty. It feels most of the time like I’m living by myself. Every once in a while though, a relative or psychiatrist will come and check on us.

My mom doesn’t have to work, thank god. My dad had saved a lot of money in case of an accident and he also had a lot of money saved just for me. He was always so responsible or well suspicious.

Even though we have money, relatives still send us money or they’ll make us dinner or something. I hate how they look at me. They treat like I’m so fragile, like a window with a small crack that will just so easily get bigger. And some of them glare at my mom or they treat her like a hurt animal.

It doesn’t really matter though because they can’t help us. I’m a lost cause and my mom is on some other planet. My mom’s tried to cope in many ways but depression seems to work best for her personally since I have no say in it. She’s gone from alcoholism to boxing to trying to find Jesus. All of them only lasted of a month or so and to say the truth, I like this one best. She’s quiet and I’m independent so I can take care of myself and she isn’t bothering me with crazy slurred talk or creepy fake smiles.

Me, I’ve gone from trying to find faith to completing disbelieving in it to simply not caring. It’s easier to not care then to have an opinion and to have to think things over. I miss the way it used to be but there’s no point in thinking of the past because the past is over and I should suck it up. If I really have to sum it all up, well life just sucks then you die or go missing.

I looked over at my clock and sighed at another sleep less night and another long day ahead of me. I sat there on my twin bed as I waited for the shaking to minimize. It never goes away completely, it always my fingertips clumsy. I know I should try to sleep some more, but the though of another nightmare makes that choice undesirable.

I let my toes touch the cold wood floors before I completely get up. I take comfort in the creaking of the aged floors as I make my way to the bathroom.

In the mirror, I can see the rings around my eyes and the sagging of my face. Today, my violet eyes seem to shimmer in the bright light and my skin doesn’t seem as pale.

I gather up my slivery blonde hair and pull it into a ponytail. I don’t pay attention to the pieces that fall out though. I run my fingers through its long silkiness that’s naturedly straight.

I look nothing like my parents, I would say I’m adopted but I’ve seen the my birth certificate. My mom has brown hair the color of chocolate that’s the same as her eyes and her skin is a creamy golden color. My dad has black hair and pale green eyes. I guess I look the most like him since we both look a little anemically pale. Well, I guess maybe well all just have the same pretty gene. I can’t deny that the three of us are the poster family for beauty even if we all look so different. No, I take that back. I guess if you really bothered to look I guess I don’t look too adopted. I have the same slim body and long legs as my mom and the same high check bones as my dad.

I forgot about my looks and groaned as I realized that my aunt was coming over today. God only knows how much I hated summer.

I went to back to my room and slipped on a pair of dark blue and gray plaid shorts and a blue Abercrombie shirt.

Outside my window, I could hear the sound of birds and the sound of an awakening world. Behind my red curtains, I could see movement. Ever so slightly, I lighted them aside to see a little bird hopping around.

Its colors were bright and yellow and its little chest was puffed out. The bird chirped as I laid my hand palm-up next to it. Its little eyes seemed to be smiling at me. Animals always did seem to like me more than humans. The bird hopped a little more, like it was dancing.

I laughed carelessly and the sound scared me. I hadn’t laughed freely in so long. “Hello mister bird.” I whispered to it. Chirp, chirp, chirp it responded. “Come here little birdie, hop into my hand.” I whispered with a smile. Little by little, the bird came closer. It looked down at my hand and then flapped its little wings until it landed on my palm.

Suddenly, I felt this electric like feeling rush into my hand as the bird fell over. What had just happened? I touched the little bird where it heart was and felt no pulse. It was dead, it died the second it touched my hand. I stared in shock at the little thing. So much for animals liking me, I thought almost grimly.

I wrapped the bird up in a piece of cloth and laid it on the soft mud behind a bush to let nature take its course.

Not wanting to take the chances of getting a bird carried disease; I went to wash my hands. I felt the shaking in my hands increase as I grew more scared. I was scared of not knowing what happened to that little bird. Had I killed it? Who knows?

I shook my head as I let the smell of rose scented soap fill my mind. I had a feeling that if I let myself think about it that I would scream and become a wreck.

I breathed deeply as I searched for something to calm my nerves. I know; I’ll go make breakfast. Even as I thought of a simple solution to distract myself, I felt my back muscles tense up.

Lillian, is that you?” my mom called out. Who else would it be, dad?

Yeah, it’s me.” I tried to disguise the pain in my voice but I failed to my own ears.

From the corner of her eye, I could see her eyeing me with suspicion. I looked questioning at her but she just shrugged it off.

I inhaled to find the scent of French toast and bacon in the air. Well, there goes my plan of distraction, I thought. Still, that’s a good telltale sign that today might not be as bad as I thought it would be. I looked her over and was pleased to see her dressed and looking orderly.

Again, she looked at me from the corner of her eye and smiled. Her smile was bright and it screamed of hope. “Your hair looks nice today, Lily Billy. It’s messy but in a styled kind of way.” Lily Billy, wow she hasn’t called me that in ages.

I laughed as I thought about how bad my hair probably did look. Suddenly, I felt good and realized how much of a Hallmark, warm family moment this really was. A single mom making it by and still able to smile even after all that’s happened, yeah, that’s what it was like.

As she flipped over the French toast, it sent another wave of aroma that made my mouth water. When she nudged a piece of bacon over, she ended up pushing a pot holder onto the gray tiled floor. I bent down to pick it up to only find my mom doing the same. We smiled at each other and both reach for it.

Suddenly, I felt that same tingly feeling as when the bird hopped onto my hand. It felt like it was coming from the core of me into my veins then to my fingertips. There was a darkness to it that felt too familiar, too familiar.

I looked up to my moms face to see the strangest look ever. She looked as if the very life in her eyes was being drained away. And just like the bird, she fell limp to the ground.

Mom!” I screamed. No, no this isn’t happening. My own breath seemed to strangle me and my eyes were as wide as ever. “Get up! Please, just say something!” I sounded like a child. I got down on my knees and put her head on my lap. I brushed her hair back and leaned my check against hers. I begged, I cried, but in the back of my mind I knew that she was dead.

I started to panic. I’ve never been in this situation before and most people shouldn’t have to deal with this. As gently as possible, I laid her head against the tile and ran to my room.

From under my bed I grabbed an emergency bag. I never really planned to run away but it was just a precaution. My eyes were blurry and my hands were shaking pretty badly.

I brushed my hands over my hair to only pull out my ponytail. In an effort to redo it, I ended up snapping the hair tie. Too panicked, and too scared of what would happen next, I forgot about my hair and ran for the back door.

Once outside, I just kept on running to nowhere in particular. All I knew was that I wanted to go somewhere vacant and populace. I soon came upon a cement road that was fenced and overgrown on the sides. It led only to a wire gate that looked rusted and unopened for years. I slumped against an elevated piece of concrete in the center of the road; it looked like it belonged in a skate park.

I didn’t think much about it, I only wanted to hear silence. My breath was jagged and my eyes flowed with constant tears. I curled up and put my forehead on my knees. I was drenched in sweat and my hair stuck to my face.

I sat there for only moments before I heard the echoing of footsteps. I clasped my hands over my mouth in an attempt to be unheard. My breathing became even wilder as another stream of adrenaline coursed through my blood.

Just stay still, I told myself. I thought that maybe if I was still I would go undetected. Anyway, who could be looking for me or following me? This place seemed too abandoned for someone to be causally visiting this road. Maybe it was the police; no it hasn’t been long enough to be the police. Or it could be a curious neighbor who wants to know why I was running or hopefully it was just so random serial killer if I was lucky. God, what low standards of hope I have.

I leaned my head over the side of the structure, seeing if I could see my follower. No one was there. I signed in relief that my stalker was gone. Or so I thought.

As I turned my head, two hands smothered me. I tried to scream but it sounded too strangled to be ever heard. Oh no, I was being kidnapped!

There were two of them. One a girl no older than sixteen, the same as me. She was the one who was covering my mouth. And off to the side was a boy no older than nineteen. They both had kind of a gangly thing going on which only scared me more.

Why can’t someone just go for a kill shot, I wished.

Now, I’m going to remove my hands and your going to be quiet, okay?” she spoke to me like I was a child.

In no effort to try to be brave or escape, I decided to listen to her. I only shuddered when the boy came closer.

It seemed so strange. They made no effort to hurt me and I was sure they weren’t just mugging me.




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