Aftermath of Carter meeting Haven

May 31, 2010

As I arrived at my new school, I was astonished at its greatness. Iron gates, complex designed buildings, and every thing you would expect from a top rated orange county school.

I could feel it already, the breath of fresh air that comes with change that could be good. It was such a pleasant feeling.

“Well it seems that you have time to spare,” said Ethan. I just nodded my head and opened the door, another door toward finding the new me.

I slung my bag on my shoulder and sighed as Ethan drove off. I turned toward the school and walked gradually toward the outside tables. Everyone instantly became aware of my presence.

In the middle of the assortment of tables sat a girl who looked to be the ‘Queen Bee’. She examined me as I stood there and her face turned to something like pleasure. She got up and started toward my direction.

“This isn’t exactly how I wanted to start my day.” I mumbled. I looked in every direction, trying to find an escape route. I seemed to have no choice but to face this girl until I saw her. It was the black haired girl from yesterday, Haven.

She was secluded from the rest of the people except for a boy that she was having a conversation with.

“Haven!” I yelled and waved in her direction. She turned toward me for only a split second before she turned back toward the boy. Does she not recognize me? It was only yesterday that I met her.

“Haven, it’s me Carter!” This time she looked at me but her face was saying something like, why is this crazy person calling my name. I jogged toward her hoping that she would recognize me.

“Hey.”

“What do you want?” she said as she glared at me. Wow, she looks pretty when she’s angry.

“You don’t seem happy to seem me,” I said with a smile.

She rolled her eyes at me and turned toward the boy “Julienne, come on, I’m leaving.” Julienne quickly followed her kind of like a dog.

Yes, she does not seem happy at all to see me.

“Don’t bother chasing after her, she’s just a little wanna-be who has really bad taste in men and clothing.” The popular girl was talking to me. She doesn’t seem too good at first impressions.

“You know, you’re really petty.” Whoa, what did I just say? I would never say something like that.

“You mean pretty? Well I already knew that. “She gloated as she flipped her hair back.

“No, I mean petty.”

I have no time for this I have to go find Haven. That first impression I just had with that girl didn‘t matter, all that mattered was that I fixed the one I had with Haven. Nevertheless, that’s going to have to wait if I want to get to my first class on time. I scrambled to find my schedule in my mess of a bag. First period, room 152 with Mr. Hollow for social studies.

Surprisingly it took me no time at all to find the room; I was even a few minutes early.

“So you must be Carter, let me be the first to welcome you to St. Davids.” I smiled shyly and shook his hand as I took a seat. One by one, two by two people filled the room. I found myself looking at each one trying to find Haven. I still don’t understand what exactly happened yesterday. It started with hey and ended with me asking for forgiveness. I wonder if she’s thinking about me. . . Snap back into it Carter, you’re on a mission! Oh, god I sound like a cheesy teen romance movie. Wait then does that mean I like her? I shook my head and looked back toward the door to watch my arriving classmates. Every face disappointed me because none of them was of the girl I wanted to see or even that Julienne boy. I laid my head on my desk and prayed for class to start. “Hello Miss Haven did you enjoy the books I recommended this summer?” Mr. Hollow, he’s talking to her! “Yes very much, I especially enjoyed the one James Paterson book.” she answered. She’s smiling! I watched her as she walked down the aisle and took a seat a few seats away from me. She’s still smiling, well with her eyes. I guess she hasn’t notices me yet, heh heh. As the tardy bell rang and Mr. Hollow welcomed us back form summer break, I couldn’t help but to look back at Haven. I wanted her to notice me but I didn’t want that at the same time because I knew when she saw me her smile would disappear. Moreover, that’s how the rest of the day happened. She just happened to be in each and every one of my classes. In addition, in every one of them, all I would do is stare at her from afar. She never noticed me that whole day except for when I was waiting in front of the school for Ethan to pick me up. I saw her, staring at me for a change. Her eyes didn’t look angry just curious. Days passed like this without much change except that her curious eyes followed me more often each day. In addition, my feelings toward Julienne changed a little each day in a negative way. I almost hated him for how close he was to Haven. I saw him every day looking at her with caring, mindless eyes. I also despised him because almost everyday he was at her house, inside her house all alone with her! And if that’s not a reason to want to rip someone throat out I don’t know what is. Ok…. So maybe I’m over exaggerating but there something that draws me to her that well is completely unreasonable. It’s also completely unreasonable that I could feel that about some girl who seems to. . . Hate, no, but something close to that. Each day seems to drag on as I wait for her to speak to me. But she makes it seem like it was just a dream or illusion that she ever had a conversation with me. It’s all right though, because I have faith in something that she will talk to me again.

I yawned and stretched my stiff arms as I crawled out of my soft bed. Friday, the first Friday of the school year. That also means that Monday is Labor Day so we get a three-day weekend. I’ve only been in school barely for a week but I’m already ready for a break. As happy weekend thoughts washed over me my alarm clock didn’t seem to agree. I got up, threw on a pair of black jeans and a band shirt and fixed my hair. As usual, Mary was sitting in the armchair with a cup of coffee in hand. “Someone looks happy. You usually look like a zombie.” She commented as I walked into the kitchen. I drank my usual cup of Coke and blood (separately) and headed toward the door with my bag on my shoulder. “Where are going so early? School doesn’t start for another hour or so.” “Oh, I’ve decided to walk to school today, its nice outside for the morning.” I replied, I wasn’t completely lying, it is nice outside. “Well, have fun and do you still want to pick you up after school?” she asked, “Nah, I’m alright.” She waved me off and I headed out the door. The real reason that I’m walking to school is to think and to make sense of everything that’s happened to me this past week. Everything’s happened so fast and I know I can think anywhere but I need the fresh air to help me focus. There’s too many things I need to think about, I need to think one at a time. As I walked down my almost empty street and looked at the only other house (well, mansion) I knew what to start with. There it was the guesthouse that she seemed to live in next to the main house. As it came into view, I saw her on the front porch of her home. She stretched her neck as she threw away a bag of trash into a dumpster. I held my breath as I waited for her glaring eyes to meet mine but they didn’t as she turned back toward her house. I sighed in relief as I looked at what she was wearing. Wow, the girl who seems to scare everyone is wearing blue care bear pajamas. Then again, she does have a certain childish aroma to her because of her height. As she stepped back into her house, I let a chuckle escape my lips. That’s why I care about her. She seems like she should be so fragile and sensitive but she’s not, almost the exact opposite. It appeals to me because I know somewhere there’s a weak little girl that she’s hiding. Such a different girl she is without a doubt. Before I knew it, I was in the front parking lot. There were very few cars parked in the student spaces and not just because it was middle and high school. I walked up to the table closest to where Haven was standing on that first day of school. I jumped up and sat on the stone table and pulled out the first thing that would keep me busy. I ended up pulling out my algebra homework from last night. I have the intelligence of a vampire (because I am a vampire) so of course I got them all right but it couldn’t hurt to check back over them. Time seemed to drag by but I could here the buzz of the gathering of many students. I was just about to dig in my bag for some other entertainment but I stopped in my tracks as I heard the yell from the queen of the shallow. Her name was Shaneil; I learned it a few days ago. “Excuse me little miss emo what did you just say?” she sneered at Haven. “I said if I ever hear you say another word about Julienne I’m going to make you regret it!” Even though Haven was shorter than Shaneil, she seemed to tower over her with her presence. “Oh so what are you going to do, dye my hair black and turn me into a little emo witch just like you?” I have to stop Have before she does anything stupid but what? Uh, oh. I sprinted toward Haven as I saw the gleam in her eyes. “I’m. . . Going . . . To kick . . . Your . . “As she leaped toward Shaneil I grabbed her by her small wrist and led her away from her victim. “ Let me go!” she screamed as she thrashed and kicked in my arms. I dragged her into the shade of a tree and pressed her against it. “Haven stop. You don’t want to hurt her.” I said in a calm voice. “How the hell do you know what I want?” she growled. “I know you’re not stupid and you’re not that reckless.” I’ve found it, the weak little girl. Her eyes glimmered and her breath fastened. She jerked her arms from mine and walked toward the school. “No Julienne today?” “No, he caught a bug last night.” she whispered. I half expected her to tell me to back off but she just kept walking. Her steps seemed to be measured and shaky. She looked up from her feet and she tripped on a large root. I reached and caught her around the waist lightly and set up right. She cringed away from the small touch and closed her eyes tight. “Thanks.” she whispered and continued walking toward the school. We reached the steps of the front doors just as the bell rang. Class after class her face continued to look blank and her eyes read shocked around the edges. And every once in a while her eyes would sparkle and shine with wetness but that’s the farthest it got, in her eyes. As the dismissal bell rang, I could tell that she had met her reaching point. The thought of comforting her crossed my mind but that would probably just irritate her. I was surprised; I seemed to be the only one to notice. Maybe it’s because I’m the only who pays that much attention to her. As I walked down the front steps toward where I normally wait for my ride, I remembered my request to walk home. I turned and headed the way I came this morning. This would be a good time to think but my head was too cluttered right now that I couldn’t. My head was silent as was the path I was taking home. ”Can I walk with you?” I turned around and saw Haven. I nodded my head and slowed to match her pace. “This is a surprise.” I commented, as the sidewalk grew longer before my eyes. “What do you mean?” she asked curiously. “Oh, I just had a feeling that you well, disliked me with a passion.” She looked up at my face and shook her head “No, I hate you.” Her voice restless. I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion as I thought about her possible motives. “It’s not the same kind of hate I feel for Shaneil though, it’s different but I’m too sure how to explain it though.” I smiled slightly “I understand and its ok.” she returned my smile and sighed as she looked back down at her feet. “It’s not okay. I’ve acted worse than I normally do if you can believe that.” she said with a small humorless laugh. Once again, the little girl peeped out her head. “I’m welcome to explanations if you’ll tell me.” She hesitated for a moment before she spoke. “Tomorrow noon at my house.” Is she kidding? I mean I thought this girl wanted me dead and now she’s inviting me to her house. I was shocked but also pleased that her anger toward me was fading. I was happy there are no other words to explain the feeling. “Well I guess I’ll see you tomorrow.” she said quietly with a small smile. “Oh, ok well ill be there, well here.” She giggled and turned toward her house without another word. I stood there until I knew for sure she was safely inside. Today was the best day of my life next to the day I met her. As I walked to my home, I could feel the goofy smile on my lips. Right when I entered the house, I noticed it was abnormally quiet. Ethan and Mary probably went out. They deserve it. I walked into the kitchen and found a note proving my hypothesis. I grabbed a cup of blood and headed for my room. As I neared my door, I could hear the hum of music. That’s strange I didn’t even turn on my radio this morning and I know neither Ethan nor Mary went into my room. I pushed the door open ever so slowly as I peeked inside. No one, not a single soul in the room. “Where you expecting someone in there?” “Julia, you scared me. No of course not.” I said as calmly as I could manage now. She shrugged and made her way into my room. My room was a lot cleaner than I left it. “Julia did you clean my room?” And how long have you been in here, I wanted to ask but that would be rude. She smiled as wide as a Cheshire cat and nodded her head as she plopped down on my bed. Her golden hair sparkled in the sunlight coming from the open window and her eyes seemed a little too happy to see me. Julia was one of those people who did nice things when they wanted something. “Is there something you want, Julia?” The actress she was put on a face of shock and gasped in horror. “Can I not just visit you?” she wined. I sighed, “Julia you know neither of us are stupid.” She huffed and looked down at her feet. “So what’s up with you and the Goth across the street?” Goth! She has a name. “Her name is Haven.” I practically growled. She clicked her tongue in disapproval and said “Defensive much?” She seems suspicious but of what? I don’t have any thing to hide. “Carter,” she began “do you like her?” Do I like her? No. . . . maybe . . . I don’t know. “Oh my goodness! You do!” she accused “What I didn’t even say any thing!” “Oh but your face spoke for you Mr. poker-face.” she laughed. I rolled my eyes and turned away from her stare. “Is that all, because I’m tired?” “Wow that’s a really lame excuse for a vampire since we like sleep three hours a night.” she said with an annoying tone. “Just leave already!” I yelled. “Awww, Did I touch a soft spot? Well have fun with your little emo.” She almost sang as she left my room. God she sounds just like Shaneil. I hope one day of my immortal life Julia realizes that we truly don’t have a chance in hell because from the start I knew I couldn’t love her. How sad, even without there being someone else to stop me from thinking about her that way I couldn’t. She’s beautiful I’ll admit that, but inside she seems so hideous. I wish time would pass faster so I could be with Haven. I yawned as I pulled my crimson red comforter over me and closed my eyes for sleep. Behind my eyelids images of Haven and me danced and swirled to an unknown song. Behind us were the moon and the stars that twinkled and played off her midnight hair. My arms were around her waist and her arms were around my neck. We were looking deeply into each others eyes. Her soft pink lips were in a small smile that infected me. Her flowing red dress swirled as well as her hair as I spun her closer. As the song came to an end I found myself gravitating closer to her. Her lovely lightly tanned skin drew me closer me as I inched even closer. I could feel the warmth wavering under her skin. My lips brushed against her collar bone and moved up the side of her neck. Under her skin, her veins pulsed against my lips. My throat burned for something so unfamiliar. My whole body burned for it. My teeth grazed her neck and with out hesitation my fangs sank into her soft thin skin. I clutched her body to mine as I slowly drank the life out of her. As I lifted my face from my neck I could see her ghostly white skin. The heat that once came from her was replaced with a sickly cold essence. The burning was gone but it uncovered a pain from what I just did. My lips were covered with her blood and her life. “No. . . No this can’t be real.” I whispered. Poor little Haven all white and empty-faced. “No!” I screamed. I kissed the bite marks I left on her and begged for her to wake up. But I knew she wasn’t sleeping, she was dead. There was no way to help her. And to think she went without a fight. I leaned into her and sobbed. I’m a monster; I knew it from the start. I live to kill and kill to live. I have no boundaries and I do it without hesitation. It’s all for the kill, the blood and the sensation that came with it. Her warmth was now inside me, swimming in my veins. As her stone cold body leaned against mine she seemed even smaller. I eased her onto the ground and held her head on my lap. I don’t want this, this life. I want to be human and not a beast of the night. I looked into the sky and saw my reflection on the moon. My eyes were red and deadly like a true monster. And in them I could see the demon inside me that was destined for hell now. I’ve never been a big believer in god but now all want is his forgiveness and for him to take my life and put it in Havens empty body. I looked deeply at Haven again and wished with all of my black heart that I never cursed her with the reality of a vampire being in love for her. Here’s your answer Julia. Yes, I love her but I lust for her blood even more. I laid her head gently on the soft grass and walked away without looking back.

Reality hit me hard when I woke up. My face was streaked with tears and my sheets were in a tangled mess. I wiped my lips with my thumb but found no traces of blood. I glanced at my alarm clock and realized how early it was but how long I slept. It was a dream, a sick, sick dream. Images of her dead pale body flashed in my mind and made me cringe in fear. I shook my head and headed down stairs without bothering to change or clean up. It was empty downstairs but I could feel Ethan and Mary’s presence so they must still be asleep. Five more hours, Carter you can do it. Soon enough I’ll be able to see her. I hope she remembers. . . Of course she’ll remember I mean she was the one who invited me over. I drank my usual and chugged down a bowl of cereal. Now my only problem was what to do before noon. No homework, no books, nothing to do. I went back upstairs and found Mary and Ethan’s door cracked open. “Carter is you up?” called Mary. “Nope, sleep walking.” I said playfully. Mary was more of a big sister rather than a mother and Ethan was like a good friend. Wrapped in each other arms the couple walked out of their room. “Have any plans today?” asked Ethan who was twirling Mary’s hair in an adoring way. Should I tell them? It’s not that it’s bad that makes me hesitate but what if they don’t approve? Well I might as since I do have to live with them. “I’m going to go hang with Haven.” Both of their faces were shocked. “You know, from across the street?” Ethan nodded his head and his eyes seemed to fall. I looked at Mary and could have sworn I saw a tear in her eye. They both seemed so sad but why? “Are you two all right? “ “Yeah just promise us that you’ll be good to her.” he said. It was an order that I intended to follow even before he said anything. “Of course. . . “They seem so protective of her. “Is there something you’re not telling me?” Mary glanced at Ethan and he clenched his teeth. They are hiding something but what? “Is it about her, Haven?” I asked anxiously. I don’t like people hiding things from me never have. The wetness was visible once again in Mary’s eyes. “Please just tell him! I don’t like hiding things from him and I know you don’t either.” begged Mary. Ethan swallowed hard and looked down mournfully. “I don’t know if we should.” he said looking at Mary. She mouthed please and took his hand. Why won’t they just tell me? It can’t be that bad could it? “Ok, fine.” We made our way toward the living room and all took a seat. I couldn’t stop fidgeting as I waited for someone to speak. Oh no it’s going to be bad. Why else would they make me sit down? “Carter we’re her parents.” Ethan whispered. “What?” I . . . was astonished. Her . . . Parents? That can’t be possible. I’ve seen them, her parents they look like her, well she looks like them. “Stop lying, just stop it!” I yelled. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.” Mary cried. She wrapped her arms around me and gently rubbed my head. It’s true but how? No, I don’t need any more details, not today. I moped into the kitchen and looked at the clock. Ten o’clock. Just enough time to take a shower and get ready and get a hold of myself. I cleaned up and dressed mindlessly, I hope I match. I looked down, good simple but nice. I was wearing a black dress shirt, a pair of black jeans, and dark olive green Doc Martians. It was nerve racking to think that in a few minutes I would be in her house with her knowing a secret that she didn’t know. Would I tell her on accident? No, I couldn’t because who knows what that would do to a person. I breathed in heavily and started toward the front door. “Wait. . . I’m sorry I wanted to tell you as soon as you met her but I don’t know why I didn’t.” she said with honesty in her voice. I nodded my head and walked out the door. Every step I took took me closer to her and made me feel guiltier. Ethan picked a really bad time to tell me that. It’s like telling someone that their dieing the day their child is born. A new part of your life seems to begin but a big brick wall gets in your way. I was at her door hesitating. What if she changed her mind, even worse, what if Julienne is here? Just calm down Carter you’re over reacting, I told myself. I swallowed back my worries and knocked on the door. The minute I waited seemed like eternity. Finally the door opened. Haven peeped her head out the door and when she saw it was me she smiled and opened the door all the way. “Oh you’re early!” she said a bit surprised. I looked at my watch and read twelve fifteen. “I’m not early I’m late” I laughed. Her cheeks turned red and she looked down. I looked at her and chuckled as I saw her tutu. “What’s so funny?” she said irritated. She looked at what I staring at and gasped as she turned a brighter red. She was wearing a light purple shirt with a cute yellow duck and a matching purple tutu with yellow polka dots and yellow ribbon at the top with the bow tied to the side. And on her feet was a pair of black leather ballet shoes with white stockings. “Aren’t you a cute little ballerina?” I giggled. “I lost track of time. . . I was. . . Uh . . . yeah.” she said in a strange voice that sounded like she was still embarrassed. “Well I guess you can come in.” she said as she led me inside. She guided me toward her living room which was painted a deep red and the molding was a chocolate brown. I went over toward a Victorian style couch which was a shade brighter than the wall with a black frame and details. All the over pieces of furniture seemed to be centered on that one piece. There was a black glass table and two over-stuffed crimson chairs that were placed in a way that directed the eye toward the couch and dark bricked fireplace that was clicking and clacking away. I took a seat on the couch as she closed the door. “Well, I’ll be right back after I change into something less . . . Weird.” she said as she headed down a hallway painted the same as the living room. A little ways from the room and across what seemed to be a parlor was the kitchen and then a dinning room. Her home was open-planed and very tasteful. Every room was decorated in a certain ancient time period way that made everything flow. Roman, Victorian, Chinese, and the all mighty Egyptian. A few minutes later, Haven can gliding down the hallway in a pair of black skinny jeans and a pink Hello Kitty t-shirt. “How come people seemed so scared of you but you’re just like a little girl with a lot of attitude?” I asked simply out of curiosity. She hung her stripped toe-socked feet over the arm one of the armchairs and rolled her eyes at me. “I like cute things and. . . Well. . . Black, it’s a scary combined when mixed with hatred.” she said dryly. Hatred? I know that she wasn’t practically fond of most people but hate? No, that doesn’t seem right. “I don’t think you’re that full of hate.” I said matter-of-factly. She shrugged and hopped off the chair. “Do you want something to drink?” she called over her shoulder as she headed toward the kitchen. “Sure, I guess.” she came back with two Pepsis and through one in my direction. Without much effort I caught it and opened it. She then placed two faded gold ancient looking costars on the table. How strange. . . I thought of most people of our age and that was defiantly something we don’t do. “What? I like this table.” she said defensively. I laughed and she smiled back at me. “You don’t seem to hate me anymore.” I said a little questioningly. She yawned and looked off into the distance like she was bored. “No need to. Besides it was just for some stupid reasons.” Stupid, now that’s funny. She was a serious reasonable person and ‘stupid reasons’ doesn’t exactly fit her. “Would you like to grace me with telling me these reasons?” I said in a mischievous voice. She looked down and shook her head. “And why not? Wasn’t that the whole reason for me coming here?” I asked. She fiddled with her Pepsi can and continued to look away from me. “I know you. . .” before I could finish she set down her Pepsi and started toward the hallway. “Just stop it, stop It.” she whispered. “Stop acting like you all of a sudden knows me better than I know myself! It’s really annoying and frankly it’s confusing because you barely even know me. . .” I think I broke her. I set my drink down and slowly crept toward her. “I’m sorry, I guess I just want you to see yourself as I see you.” I took a detour to the door as she grabbed my arm. “You shouldn’t have such high expectations for me.” she shook as she said that. She let her hand fall and turned away. I could feel it, I had hurt her. “I’m so sorry. . . “I whispered but I don’t think she heard me. I couldn’t help but turn around to watch as she walked away from me. Shockingly she was staring right at me. Her eyes glistened and she shook even more. I started to open my mouth to say something but she held up her hand. “I know, I know. You’re sorry and you don’t have to be.” Before my eyes she crumbled to the floor. She held her hands over her eyes as she sobbed. “You’re right; I’m just a little girl. I’m weak and fragile and . . .” but she couldn’t finish through her tears. I knelt beside her but didn’t touch her. “You don’t like to be touched.” at first I didn’t realize I was saying it out loud. She sniffled and looked up at me “It’s that obvious?” “Remember when I stopped you from falling over that tree root.” I reminded her. She said oh and her eyes still streamed with tears. I wanted to wipe them away but I don’t think she would like that. She got up and once again headed toward that hallway. Just as I was ready to turn around and leave she told me to stay and I obeyed. I sat on the floor and waited for her to come back. When she did come she had a big purple comforter draped on her shoulders. She lay down on the couch and looked at the floor. “Do you want me to leave?” I asked. “Strangely, no. By now I would have yelled at Julienne to leave.” she said without much enthusiasm. That made me happy to know that I was now sharing a part of her life that he didn’t. “Say something stupid.” she demanded as she rolled over to face to the back of the couch. “Demanding aren’t we?” I said sarcastically. She laughed a little laugh and turned to face me. “You’re pretty strange, Mr. Vampire.” she said nonchalantly. Vampire, she just called me a vampire. “Vampire?” I questioned. “I mean you look like one with your pale skin and . . . good looks. And you do have pretty good reflexes.” I could feel myself turn paler. “Did I scare you? Come here, you look sick.” she said genuinely concerned. “I better get going.” I said quickly. “Oh, okay well will you come back tomorrow?” she looked sad and that broke my heart. “Yeah I’ll come back.” As I walked out the door I couldn’t help but feel a little confused as I called all the emotions that passed by. When we’re around each other it always drifts from emotion to emotion, never really giving you a chance to think. And, well, I like it. I started toward my house and stopped as I heard a blood curdling scream. I sprinted to her house and pushed the door open. She was standing on the glass table screaming and pointed at a bug. “Oh my god that bug is huge!” she yelled. SHe scared of a tiny bug, another ironic thing about her. “It’s ok here just stay right there and ill be right back.” I said through laughs. She nodded her head and backed as far as she could get away from the bug. Jogged into her kitchen and got a paper towel. “What are you doing? Kill it!” she said as I picked up the bug with the paper towel. I then took it and through it into the soft grass. When I walked back inside she was still standing on the table. “It’s ok I got rid of it.” I said as I offered her my hand. She took with little hesitation and I helped her down. “I hate bugs, there icky and disease ridden.” she wined. I shook my head and laughed as I listened to her. “Hey don’t laugh at me!” she growled. “Sorry but that was pretty funny.” I said with a smile. “No it wasn’t the bug could have eaten me and you know what I hope it eats you now!” I laughed once again and looked at her. Her dark black hair was tied back into a bun and it shinned with great beauty. We stood there in silence and just looked at each other. Then, in front of me came a grumbling sound. Haven put her hands on her stomach and wined. “I hungry.” She sighed and walked to the kitchen. “Well since you’re here, do want to have lunch with me?” she said looking back at me. I nodded my head and followed her to the kitchen. She went from cabinet to cabinet, pantry to fridge, gathering things. I walked over toward the dining room, stopping as I saw a bar. I hopped up on a stool and watched with interest as she worked on lunch. She never took me as the type to cook, or to wear a tutu. It seems like every minute she surprises me something new about her. She placed a small pot on the stove and started to slow. “So miss easy-bake what’s for lunch?” She strolled over to the counters near the bar and jumped up to sit on it. “What’s with the cheesy pet names?” she asked, laying her head lazily on her hand. “I guess it’s a little side effect from all the things I’m learning about you.” I said honestly. She looked up in thought and nodded, “I guess that’s reasonable enough.” In harmony, we laughed and looked at the floor as the room fell silent. It felt like we were old friends catching up with the new things in our life. As the stove hissed she left me. She seemed so happy and I liked that even though I knew she was hiding behind an awkward feeling. I let the though pass as she pulled out plates and silverware. On each plate she places two dollops of rice and arranged slices of chicken on top. “I hope you like chicken and rice.” she said I little worried. It smelled really good and I was sure I would taste good too. She handed me the plates and as she got drinks for the two of us. We both got situated at the bar and began eating in silence. It was really and truly good. Its not that I didn’t expect it to be good but the flavor of it went passed what I had expected. So she was a good cook, just one of her many talents. “You eat like a cat, its kind of weird.” she commented as I put our plates in the sink. I shrugged and followed her back into the living room. I looked down at my watch and was surprised. Lunch seemed to quickly turn into dinner. “I better head home its pretty late.” For like the third time tonight we said our good-byes and I was out the door. This has been one of the most entertaining and confusing days I’ve had since my human life ended. And being a vampire really wasn’t that hard, it did help to not crave for human blood. All I had to do was act normal and learn to control my strength. The only thing that bothered me about being the creature I am is not knowing if one day I might turn into that beast from that dream. It scared me even more to think that the events in the dream would come true. The beginning I wouldn’t mind, but her cold dead face still haunts me. I didn’t bother to announce my presence as I came home. I didn’t want to talk to them or listen to them. It was bad enough that I had to carry the worry of her hating me and her burden of my biggest secret but they put the universe on my shoulders. They shouldn’t have told me, simple as that. I heaved a sigh and dragged myself to my room. Today had been a long day and I was ready to sleep. I stripped down to my boxers and plopped down on the bed. It wasn’t too long before I fell asleep. I had the same dream but this time her death seemed to hit me harder. This time I was more focused on her neck that was splattered with blood that was coming from two small wounds that I had created. Every time i see the image of her neck I just want to crawl out of my skin and pray to be once again human. Denial for what I am. . . I was wrong I’m not comfortable being a vampire. The fear of hurting Haven seems to be now controlling my life. I shook my head and continued into another day of nothing but self pity and the hope of seeing Haven. Breakfast was super awkward with Mary and Ethan there. I tried to make an escape but Ethan ordered me to stay. I knew what was to come, they would say that they’re sorry and that they regret telling me anything and blah blah blah. I don’t want to listen to that even if its for my “own good”. But they didn’t try to talk to me, maybe they learned how stubborn I was. There was nothing to look forward to today, not even school tomorrow. These are the times that I wish Julia wasn’t so crazy and demanding. Well, since I rather not spend my day under the watching eyes of my guardians, a walk around the town seems like my only option. Without a word to Mary or Ethan I was out the door. As I walked down the very street that makes my heart race and freeze, I tried my best to avoid looking at her house. I was there just yesterday but I’m still scared that she’s changed her mind on being friendly to me. The only girl I’ve ever looked twice at still seems to slipping away from my hold. Truthfully I don’t even know what kind of relationship we have. I hope that we are friends but at the moment I don’t think I should ask her quite yet, maybe I should just wait for her to say something about it. Just god forbid that she gets any closer to that Julienne thing. He’s my opponent for Haven and my sanity. It’s not shes a prize, its more that, well lets just I’m greedy. And for my sanity, I mean that I might go crazy enough to rip his throat out or maybe just his face. Who ever said love was a sane thing was insane themselves. I yawned and cracked my neck as I continued down the street. Every time I have that dream it feels like I haven’t slept at all, just laid there looking into a possibility of the future if I don’t get in control of myself. Okay, bad thought. Death doesn’t make the nawing pain in my stomache go away. I should eat more, human food wise. Lately I try my hardest to stay away from the kitchen or any place but my room when I’m home. I really, really don’t want to have a “talk” with my “parents”. And in the whole grand scheme of things, It seems that life doesn’t like vampires or anyone who has cheated death. It feels like its been hours, but I’m still on the same street and of course, in front of Haven’s house. I wonder, since I’ve trying my hardest to block out any details about her, including yesterday, did she invite me over today? I think hard about it but all details of our conversations just slip away. Maybe I should just go any way, I mean it couldn’t hurt or could it? It could hurt me if she told me to go away and it would hurt Julienne if I found him once again in her house and I would be the cause of his pain. What to do, what to do. “Hey, are you just going to stand there or come over here?” calls Haven from the front of her house. I sigh happily as I let my mid rest as finally an answer comes my way. She’s smiling, that’s a good sign. Once again I yawn and she suppresses a giggle. “What’s so funny?” I ask sleepily. She raises on her tiptoes and brushes my hair down. “You look like you just fell out of bed, well except for your clothes. And you look like you haven’t slept for days.” her smile turned to concern. “I’m all right, I just haven’t been able to adjust to the new house.” I said hoping that she would believe my half lie. The other half of it was the nightmares of her and me, no further explanation needed. My lie seemed to have no effect on her. She seemed to disregard it and shook her head. “So earlier it seemed like you were going somewhere.” she said with a hint of curiosity. Where was I going? Oh right, into town. “Into town to go look around, nothing really that planned out.” I said matter-of-factly. She put her hands behind her back and twiddled her thumbs. “So if you still want to go I can come with you. You’ll just have to let me change first.” she said with a glimmer of hope. Without hesitation I smiled and gestured toward the hallway. She smiled back and went to her room. I leaned against the crimson red walls and waited. A few minutes later she trotted out of the hall with a pair of skinny jeans with a black lacey design and a black baggy-styled sweater over a white shirt. Today her black hair was curly and messy in a nice way. “You look nice.” I said softly. She smiled and tried to fix my hair with her fingers with little success. “Can I fix your hair? Its really bothering me.” “Sure go ahead.” I said with a little fear of what was going to happen. She grabbed my by my clothed wrist and lead me to her room. “Stay here, I’ll go get what I need.” Aww. . I wanted to see her room. She came back with some styling products and a comb. A few doors down the hall was a powder room. She sat me down in front of the mirror and went to work. Her hands worked swiftly as she brushed this and sprayed that. In the end, I had a nice head of hair. “That was weird, but nice.” It really nice to be that close to her and feeling her fingers brushing against my neck and hair. “You can thank me by taking me to go get a cookie or something sweet.” she said with a brilliant smile. I laughed and brushed down my shirt. “Well I cant drive and I’m not sure you can either so, is it okay if we walk?” I said shyly. “Sure, it’s a nice day out.” The outside air was warm on my pale skin and the wind played with her curly raven colored hair. I was instantly reminded of the time we walked together the day she first invited me over. I still cant help but wonder if she still feels a slight hatred toward me. “So where are you going to treat me to?” she asked with a winning smile. I’m not at all fimilar with this town, but she probably is. “Where ever you find suitable, my queen.” I said with a bow. She rolled her eyes and lead me to a little hole-in-the-wall of a café.We went in, ordered some coffee and chocolate cookies. It was nice and I was glad it was just me and Haven.

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