Two A.M. Lovesick

October 1, 2012

It’s a truly messed up thing
One day
You’re happy and clever with ideas
The next
You’re mind is clouded with doubt
That you deserve to see tomorrow
A slit wrist seems the best solution
When you even tell yourself
That no one wants you
Why bother with another breath

But then again
You should bother
Out of all of the possible combinations
The world gave your parents you
No one else that day of birth
But you

It’s a truly messed up thing
But being able to say
That you raised up from the darkness
Pushed aside taunts and evils
Shows the strength you possess
A strength few will ever come to know

Hold onto it tight
And show it off with pride
You gave yourself the right to breath
The right to speak and think
And no one can take that away from you
You are the daughter
Of a girl named star


Third Times A Charm

September 30, 2012

I’ve come to realize
You can’t give up on someone
Who left long ago
Left behind a relationship
That might have been confusing
And difficult to handle at times
But still deep down
It was a mutual understanding
Perhaps even a connection

I might have lit the match
But you supplied the gasoline
This history that we complied
Was truly not a pleasure to burn
All of what we had
Watching as it melted
Only reminded of the day we met
When my teenage heart melted for you

This true displeasure
I can only manage through it
Because I know now
Now that I am trying to rid of you
I can put aside and throw away
The pain and harsh inconvenience
You have caused me

What an utter mess I have made
Of myself and those around me
Complain complain complain
Must be the only thing people hear from me
With you dissolved from my life
Maybe I can sing to a new tune
A little rhyme that has nothing to do
With the unhappiness I feel for you

I must admit of course
All of this would be totally different
If you just fought for me
I never expected a knight
Or an one-knee suggestion
An apology would be just fine

Maybe it was your pride
Or then again
Maybe you’re just that stubborn
To confess your true sins
Of breaking and using only when convinent
A hard-shelled girl
Who was too nice to anyone
That showed a bit of compassion or care

Demolished Playground

September 16, 2012

Please remind me

Of when tomorrow seemed to take forever

A doll was a companion

The world wasn’t evil

And anything was enough

I’m not ready

For the suit and tie

Nine to five

Stand on your own two feet

Kind of life


To be strong

Is to know when to give in

To realize you are you right

Or you may be wrong

To give others the hope you possess

Just so they can make it through the day

When others cannot cry

Lending a few tears of your own

Sharing the faith you have in others

Allowing them to then know

They do mean something

Creating a smile when times are dark

And shining it into those hearts

Who need a bit of loving light

This is strength

This is you

Walk Away

May 24, 2012

There comes a point

When you can’t apologize anymore

I have to regain my dignity

And saying I’m sorry

Will only put it further off

I care for you

Really and truly

But I can’t stand

Being made into a villain

I promise you

I’m not a bad friend

But you’ve made me out to be one

So why should I even bother

When you’ve left me alone

With no good memories

To put my mind at rest

You decided this for yourself


I realized this would happen

I knew that one day

You would leave me

Run away from the problems at hand

Because I could never fix you


May 24, 2012

So you think I left you
But you were gone months ago
You told me to find another
When we both know I only want you
My heart aches
But I know I have to let you go
You claim your gone from my life
But any prophet would know
You’ll be crawling back to me soon
When that day comes
I have to be strong enough to say
I’m sorry
I don’t know you
But if you’ve seen my friend
Tell him I said I miss him


May 24, 2012


It’s fine

You obviously don’t want my help

I’ll just scoot along

No more glances your way


Too tired

To try anymore

You’ve gone from a precious friend

To a hopeless cause


The warnings

Everyone’s telling me to give up on you

But I just can’t

Holding on too desperately


March 18, 2012

I’m anxious for you

Waiting to see if you could be

Some one to complete me

And fill in the hole that has grown inside of me

I have must confess though

I can’t promise I’ll be easy to deal with

From inside to outside

I’m broken

From all of the bad things I’ve seen

And all of the things I’ve never had

Alone isn’t always lonely

February 29, 2012

My best days

Are the days when me and the world

Become two separate entities

My very thoughts

Become distant from everything around me

Theses days sometimes seem

To be the only time when I

Can understand what I want

When my mind is clouded with everyone else

I am pushed into the back to beĀ forgotten

These days when I am alone

I’m not always lonely

Rather I am accompanied by the me inside

What do I want more

To have my face flash behind their eyelids at the sound of my name

Or when they see my face

Have them remember the change I personally made in their life

What’s the point of having your name in lights

If you’ve never truly touched someone’s heart

But if I choice this path

That may end in everyone knowing who I am

What if it turns out no one cares to remember me

But if I choose the other

I could be giving up my chance to be in the spotlight

Where am I supposed to put all of my expectations and effort

When I can’t even make up my mind on what I want to do with myself

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